Screenshot memories ~Oldgirl

Photo: Easter. Candy basket and Ogden Nash poetry. That maternity shirt--brother on the way. Kim's laugh. The feel of that dress on tights, on legs. Ribbons! Now, I get it. Smooth hair. Cottage curtains, Green-eyed Lady, Psycho on Saturday afternoon tv while mom irons, jumping in the clean laundry basket! Dusting on Saturdays, baseboards, too. Rollerskating in the basement. Planting 4 o'clocks along the fence with Flora Ruggles, neighbor. Her Lamb's Ears in the alley. Being sent to the store at dusk and using the neon cross of Hope Lutheran Church to get home- adventure for Kim and me. Sycamore trees outside my window, incandescent streetlights. St. Louis cicadas, thunderstorms. Tornado sirens. Miss Lollipop sachet. Nancy Drew books for a quarter, worth my allowance. The dark staircase to the front door, rarely used...

Beginnings: Baby chicks on my head,  Kim rolling a red ball, corduroy overalls with flowers on grandma's floor. Did we eat squirrels? Water moccasin snake in the creek, playing under the house, dachshund andirons. Castoria bottles dug up in the gulley. The taste of passionfruit, the smell of pink baby hedge roses, dead frogs in the barrel, smell of chicken pen, feel of bare feet on dewy grass, smell of septic tank with Halo shampoo, Woodbury soap, Avon Rich moisture lotion--grandma's hands, sprinklers and swimsuits and Coppertone on the sunny lawn. Making peach ice cream in the backyard. Driving on dad's lap, chrome and bakelite knobs, sleepy fan in window of grandma's bedroom- safest place in the world. Shed snakeskins in the bushes, guinea pig mash, praying to trees-don't let me have to leave here! Great Balls of Fire, and Teddy Bookus sitting right beside the turntable. Banana pudding.

Grandmother's cedar Christmas trees. Tinsel, pinecone birds with paint and glitter, aroma of dusty blue cedar fruit, screen porch-full moon on Christmas Eve. Meet the Beatles. The Scarecrow. Grandpa throws his dirty socks at me at night! Making islands in the ocean with sofa pillows, and lp's. Where were the grownups? Living room all to our selves, Kim and me. Knotty pine indoors, Bittersweet outdoors. Cubed steak and mashed potatoes and peas, Monday. Picking ticks off Rebel at night in front of the tv... Mom's boyfriend drew her naked? Ick. How could he know?

Shag carpeting, Desiderata, orange incense, Sentimental Lady, purple oxidized air. Poco and Sadie, fresh water for their bowls, mom insists I do this every morning. Little brother puts things, keys, army men, in the toaster. Stench of toaster fires, ha! Hiding the Exorcist in the garage every night after reading. Heaven Scent. Yardley. Mom's salads with poppyseed dressing, grilled brisket. Her pantsuits. Her cigarettes, hiding them. Kim smoking them! Skipping confirmation class for sips of blackberry cordial, hazlenut Icecubes and Pentangle with Kim Casey. Love's Fresh Lemon. Boys. 8th grade, Tom Thacker...Trail of the Lonesome Pine. Square dancing in the gym. Mom, and Cher, and burgundy fingernails. Kim wearing mom's camel coat. It looks so good on her, three sizes too big and her big brown eyes.  They both got perms. Steve, in Christy Park on the old stone steps. Eyebrows growing on your friend's face while trying to read the book that was just there... 

Flat with Steve, off Broadway and Jefferson. Strange family across the street whose children played outside late at night, their squeaky tricycle wheels at 2 am... The fire, their house burning down, after we'd moved away. Losing antique book collection and childhood photos. Friends with bedspread on their bedroom floor, covered with bags of marijuana, soon that room would be mine and my teenaged husband's and our baby's. Shulamith Wolfing inspiration, making candles. Rubbing pennies together for a laugh...16. Little house on Beck. Outfitting stroller with curtains to shade my baby's eyes...Walking for miles and miles...

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