and More Teachers - by Nan Brooks

Rest is a Sacred Act*

I am heartsick and soul weary today. The news is too much, by which I mean the racist cops, the “leaders” who are deranged with greed for money and power, the folks who “need” to drink in a bar or play on a beach so badly that they endanger us all… you get the picture. It is time to take action, to write my congress people (and I use the term “my” quite loosely), to speak out and act out against racism (mine and others’), to Do Something. Last night I made a lot of phone calls to help get out the vote in Texas. I thought I’d feel a little better. I didn’t. I still don’t. What now?

My teachers in the 12-Step world are always with me. Since 1985 their voices call out to me or whisper in my ear. I hear their laughter, their desperation for healing, their wisdom. They – all those women and men in all those rooms over the years – saved me from myself. I turn to them again today, in my grief for this sorry world I can remember what they have taught me and share a little. They would remind me to encourage you to “take what you like and leave the rest.”  I would add that this is what I have taken for myself for this day – the program meetings are far richer with love and good health than I can sum up.

One Day at A Time  Sometimes one hour at a time. Or a few minutes at a time. It is an easy practice that is hard to maintain. But staying in the moment can get me through a lot. In this moment I am … [fill in the blank}. In this moment I am safe, I have food, I have friends, my heart is beating steadily, and I look around me to see that the dog is sleeping peacefully, the cat is happily birdwatching, the neighbors are mowing their lawn. My shoulders drop, I take a deep breath. Then I think, “I am safe, but not one single black man in this country is safe,” and I weep again, I rage again, I am undone. Back to this moment I must come, because until I am calmer, I will lash out in my desire to control the entire world and do more harm than good. So, I slow down, stop to notice this particular moment, take time to be grateful. I put on my own oxygen mask before assisting others because what use would I be? And it is my responsibility to deal with myself.

Also, it is good to rest. Rest is a sacred activity. It makes possible whatever patience and generosity of spirit I can share. I am more steadfast with others when I tend to myself. Paradox, and also true.

What Can I Control?  The Serenity Prayer inevitably clarifies my thinking:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can, and

the wisdom to know the difference.

Obviously, there isn’t enough cyber space to list all the things I cannot control. From remembering what I can control, my mind goes to

Just Do The Next Right Thing.  This morning that means a shower, breakfast, my journal, walking the dog, tidying my writing room. The journal brings an insight and a list of doable chores, then a list of doable actions beyond those. The dog walking brings deeper breathing, more oxygen to my brain, clearer thought, more actual physical energy. Tidying my writing room somehow clears my head even more. I am on my way to a productive day. Which might mean a productive day of rest and quiet.

Everyone Has a Higher Power.  There are a gazillion words for the divine and that’s fine with me. They are all valid. We can all be guided by divine wisdom if we pay attention to what that Higher Power is telling us. I’ve learned to trust mine and I’ve learned what happens if I ignore that guidance. On days like this, when the news from out there in the wider world is so horrific, I am reminded to trust in the higher power of those who govern, those who carry bigger and more visible responsibilities than I do. I’ve learned the power of prayer and of magic, so I pray for them.

Practice Gratitude.  There is a reason the practice of gratitude is so prevalent in the popular self-help culture. It works, simple as that. I can stop in this moment to be grateful for the brave ones who shoot cell phone videos of racist cops in action, for the community leaders who step up and speak up, for the ones who offer solace to the 100,000 plus grieving families in this country, for the ones who work in hospitals and clinics to heal and clean and comfort, for the neighbors who offer to run errands, for the friend who calls to check in, for… the list can expand exponentially for hours.

I can get through this grief for the world. I can stay with it, feel it all the way through my bones, and keep faith. I hope this is helpful to someone today.

*This image is from Malta, an ancient sculpture of the "Sleeping Lady", sometimes call the Sleeping Goddess.