Ordinarily

"Ordinary people do not question the commonly accepted version of reality. They conform to the standard values of subduing enemies and cherishing friends and family. Materialism, ambition and mundane achievements are the worldly hallmarks of success. We experience the phenomenal world and our minds as solid and truly existent. Very few people doubt these assertions and question their validity. Yet, the process of disbelief is the first step on the spiritual path." - Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche

Observing my mind's ordinariness, its machinations and pettiness, that's about it, lately. Nothing to really write about right now; I can't focus on a topic. I am caught in my mind, yet I can also simply watch it. I'm thankful for the benefit of letting it be alright, to not rush to censor or change it. Maybe, I think, I'll find something that catalyzes me? I think about all the thoughts and reactions I see friends write about. I know some top notch thinkers, if I do say so. And I want to do the next right thing, too; like most people. But my mind shows me I'm a killer ape... that's what scares me the most. All alone with mind.

Watching mind and watching the world, my days revolve around these. Seeing things in rapid change can be fear inducing and worrisome. I keep looking for beauty and humor in there. Having little to say, I share some of the contents of my mind this week, they are linked below. I don't have words to sum up anything. I can only watch, right now- but maybe I can show you .... it's a bit all over the place as you can see:

Stuck in my head... When this album came out it filled me with dread, even the cover made me feel like something strange was coming upon me. I kept that opinion to myself, but I stopped playing it pretty soon after it came home. It is musically fantastic and brilliant, but it scared me when I was 16. I see how accurate it is, at 62, and I'm hit by its conquistadored shredding, its droning helicopters, its accurate portrayal of our softness against steel, our inability to survive if we have to, in a world gone mad. Overdosing is mentioned more than once...and that hits me. I listen to it now, and am amazed by its accuracy, he was a genius, and I wonder what he was thinking when he wrote the songs on this album - even if its prescience was fueled by his cocaine use. The lyrics, "It hit me today" and "Something kind of touched me today" are on a cerebral loop...baby bankrupt. See what you think. (nearly 14 minutes long and there is an ad between songs, sorry about that).

We are the Dead, 1984, Big Brother, Chant of the Ever Circling Skeletal Family

Children stuck at home with screens galore and limited ability to play with friends. What a nightmare. I recall my childhood so fondly, thankful for the good medicine that it was. All the digging in dirt, swimming in creeks, flipping over cow patties, kicking the can in the alley at dusk, softball, bicycling all over the place, kicking leaves while carrying your new records over to a friend's house to play --and the uniform "be home by the time the street lights come on." Childhood seems more impoverished by the day. Screens in baby's hands, no friends, no school, even. What will the consequences be? Concern over work, money-making. I wonder what the future of education will even look like. I'm wondering if I could switch to teaching in a Waldorf school. I've enjoyed the trying... to provide a respite... where I am, in public schools, but is that even possible, anymore?